W just told me she wants out

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Actaully W talked real nice to me, I could tell she missed me. But it just gives me false hope and a big fall.

I'm new to this thread, and may have missed something. Are we saying that "being nice (to H)" and "canoodling (with OM)" can't be done at the same time?

Oh. Didn't think so.

Puppy

[Virtually_Handsome]

Bobby....

You are worrying too much about what it will "look like", and not enough about what you need to do for yourself.

If it's a boundary that you need to enforce, then you need to enforce it.

If it's more of an idea you'd like to see followed, well, maybe you back off.

[faithisbelieving]

Jumbo shrimp.

Military intelligence

Boneless ribs

Advanced beginner

Amicable divorce

My Wife is being nice to me/she just canoodled OM.

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Think.
FIB

[Bobby]

I need to keep reminding myself that she didn't choose me, and it will be her loss.If I can stay angry its so much easier.

[TrentC]

I need to keep reminding myself that she didn't choose me, and it will be her loss.If I can stay angry its so much easier.

Don't be angry. "Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." -- Carrie Fisher

Just accept that she made her decision, and move on.

[Gardener]

Trent,

"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." -- Carrie Fisher

HA! Is that who said that?
I've been using that line all over this forum, never knowing where I heard it/who it came from. Thanks.

[Bobby]

The slight anger helps me deal with it and keeps me from not communicating with her. This definitely is the toughest thing I've ever gone through . You wake up... its still there. It's hard to accept that someone else is forcing you down this path.
And they are being rewarded for their cheating. Is God blind to these things or is their day coming? Just some of the things I pray and try to find answers to.
I thank everyone for taking time to help me get through this.
I bought the DR book.I hope it still will help me, it sounds like my wife knows exactly what she wants. I didn't ask her, just reading between the lines.

[Bobby]

Is it normal to feel the need to hurry and find another partner?

[TrentC]

Is it normal to feel the need to hurry and find another partner?

Everyone's situation and feelings are different. Certainly there is nothing stopping you from doing that, if that's what you want. To me, it'd kinda be at odds with stopping your divorce...

This should not be confused with socializing with members of the opposite sex. That is healthy and normal; and a good idea, as wayward spouses might think twice about leaving when they see their LBS having fun with members of the opposite sex.

[faithisbelieving]

On the one hand, that would certainly kill any chances at all of having your wife come back. On the other, needing to run to another woman right away may show that you need some counselling. Is there a possibility of some type of codependence here?

Stop being so needy and focus on yourself. FIB