Thank you. She was very clear again today that this is to learn to communicate and trust eachother so we can be good parents through and after divorce (those same things would make a pretty good marriage possible too!).
I just finished IC with the same MC we will see tonight. He said exactly what Bunny said. I need to show passion tonight. As a politician, even though I am local politician, I am careful about the words I use. He said he could read her body language last time and there were times where she believed me and times where she thought I was given a well prepared speach. He told me that I shouldn't think about what I am going to say anymore...he said you already know...don't polish it, be genuine and let your emotions show. He said she is looking for passion, even though she says her mind is made up, she hasn't done anything yet...actions vs. words.
So, I will let her start, but I won't take an hour of bashing. At some point I will speak up and tell her that we did this last week and I want a chance to vent my frusterations. I'm not going to over analyze anything, I am going to have a heart to heart with her tonight, with the MC right there to referee.
It is an intense meeting tonight, probably 3 hours. We will both be exhausted at the end.
I feel like we are at a head here. Tonight is sort of do or die...I know it isn't, but it has that level of intensity for me. I'm not begging or pleading, in fact my stance is going to be that I will be OK if we divorce; even if I prefer to make our marriage work. However I am not a terrible person, she has faults too. The guy she fell in love with was affectionate, caring, romantic, spontaneous, etc.. (these are her words from last week); BUT so was the woman I fell in love with. We both dropped the ball.
Now it is a matter of deciding if we pick it up again or just kick it away and move on. That is her call, not mine. I made my decision, but I can't control the final outcome.
