Hello everybody. My old thread is close to 200 posts, so I think i'd better start a new one. Thanks Kitti for the title to my new thread. The old ones are:
Major develoment today guys. I have received a letter from my attorney saying that we have a dismissal hearing on Oct 15. I showed it to my H and he said: 'that's your thing, do whatever you want." So now the question is what do I want?
Do I let them dismiss the suit and take a chance on our M or do I file a brief to the judge asking for a postponement so that I can have some time to see how things go? I wish I could just forget it, but OW being still there does not help. On the other hand, I understand that piecing while the suit is hanging over his head may feel difficult for my H.
What do you guys think?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: On the other hand, I understand that piecing while the suit is hanging over his head may feel difficult for my H.
I know this is probably the wrong thing to say but....piecing while the ow is still working with h everyday hanging over your head is rather difficult as well isn't it?
don't make it a tit for tat though (I know there's no chance of you doing it for that reason).
My H and I never discussed D so no 'official' paperwork of any sort was ever filed....so take MY opinion with a grain of salt.
I'm on both sides of the fence with this. One side says, withdraw the paperwork if YOU feel your Hs recent improvements are genuine and NOT driven by the looming S/D agreements. The other side says, postpone the court date to see if your Hs good behavior continues, but DON'T withdraw the complaint.
I'm thinking solely in terms of protecting your finacial security interests in the event that things don't pan out the way you'd like them to.
Our Hs can be very cunning and manipulative so I'm a big 'protect yourself financially' first and foremost kinda gal.
DON'T go for the divorce, of course, just keep the 'agreements' already established in tact.
That sounds like 3 out of 3 so far. I was talking about it to one of my partners (both are extremely pro-marriage and have helped me a lot during this horrible times. But they keep a cool head on the financials): the consensus seems to be try to get a postponement since OW is still there. I have to call my lawyer and try to see if that is even possible.
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Quote: the consensus seems to be try to get a postponement since OW is still there.
here's a hypothetical in regard to postponing with the reasoning that ow is still there...what if ow is still there when the postponement date comes around but h is still "working on the r with you"?
Good point girls. I do not know what to do. I do not want to call the lawyer without an strategy. I guess the real question is how long do I want to wait. Should I just talk to him and ask him: but he is going to say that is your decission (what he always says: he agreed to a D, he gave me the books of his office, he accepted all my terms...) I am so confused... Why can't the heavens break open and sent me the easy answer?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Opt, How about waiting six months. Tell your H that you are postponing. Let him know that you want to keep the door to reconciliation open and in that vein you are holding up any finalization of the D. Tell your H that the D isn't JUST your decision but his as well since it's about YOUR (his and your's) marriage.
He keeps passing off the decision on you so that he can stand back and say, "This is what YOU wanted." Well, his silence and removal from the 'process' is his conceeding to it without having to participate. T2
Opt, I have no wisdom on this subject, but just wanted to drop by and read up on what's been going on. Sounds like a lot of good, but this legal question is tough. I hope the heavens open and give you your answer Meanwhile, sounds like you have some sage advice from others.
Why can't the heavens break open and sent me the easy answer? 