My W agreed to counseling a few weeks ago, "only to help us rebuild trust and communication to be better parents through the divorce process, if something more happens, great".
Last week Wed we went; it was two hours of her reminding me of everything I had done wrong and nothing about what she had done wrong. I didn't get angry, I listened. She got mad that I wouldn't fight with her. At teh end of the session, she said she wouldn't come back, there was no reason to...there was nothign left to save...remember though, that wasn't the reason she was there! She was there to rebuild trust and communication to be better parents through the divorce.
Saturday, as I posted before, I let her push my buttons and we fought. She reaffirmed that she was not going to counseling this Wed (today). I asked her what we were doing then; when was she going to file...you'll have to go back and read that post, but the bottom line was that she WAS NOT going back to counseling.
Tuesday at noon was when she was supposed to call the counselor to confirm the appt if she wanted to go. He called me to say she had not called back.
Right after I hung up, I had an email asking if we could change the appt because she couldn't find a sitter last night. Of course, the appt was not last night, it is tonight; so I asked "what appt?" and she confirmed that she thought the counseling appt was Tuesday night.
I wanted to reply "you mean the appt that there is no way in hell you are going to? The one YOU were supposed to confirm earlier today? The one with a MARRIAGE counselor?" Instead, I just replied that it was Wed. at 7:00pm, is that okay. Her reply "Oh yea, I had my days wrong, see you there!" WTF?
So today is uber-counseling day. At 10:00 we had FC with our daughter. My wife was bitter. Wanted to talk about the holidays and child placement, etc... I said I wouldn't talk about it then, but we could later. With our daughter in the room, she confirmed with the counselor that we ARE getting divorced.
I go to see my counselor in 30 minutes....same guy we see together tonight.
Why the hell are we going to marriage counseling if it is OVER? Why won't she just file and be done with it?
I'm honestly worried my wife has some serious issues with depression that are causing her completly irrational behavior. She has a short temper (not normal for her), she is forgetful, mood swings are night and day and she just seems aloof. Maybe that is all normal; but there is somethign more there that I worry about.
What are your thoughts? Time to stop DBing? Let it all out tonight? Give her her share of the blame?
I have no idea what to do. Are R talks okay if we are in the office of a marriage counselor to get "divorce" counseling?
