I am unclear... is your H still living with you? If so my answer might be a bit different.
My H knew I knew he just didn't have the balls to come clean. Once he moved out he was no longer allowed here and I only took his calls if he arranged to speak with me ahead of time. In a period of one year we saw each other 5 times and I went totally dark. Not that children hold a marriage together but my H and I had nothing bonding us other than our marriage which clearly he had no desire to be a part of.
He is the one that looked like an ass, not me. My H's GF still looks like an idiot because who in their right mind would sleep with a married man for 1.5 years and not wonder why they aren't getting divorced and every time a court hearing is set to happen it was my H that backed out of it. Idiots. Two people that needy and dense aren't smart enough to keep their affair under wraps for long.
Like I said though, it's an individual choice and circumstances do differ when children are involved or if you feel you are in danger of some sort.
