I feel panic in your writing. You don't need to do that. No matter what things look like, or what he is saying, time can be your friend. Right now, I think the best thing that you can do, other than reading, is nothing! You need to get your feet under you. You need to get your goals clear in your mind. You need to get your thoughts centered on you. Give yourself a chance to breathe a bit. Taking a few days to take stock isn't going to ruin anything.
