I agree with all. Near the end, we blame ourselves heavily for the demise of our marriage. Certainly, we all have imperfections which I think are conquerable in a healthy relationship. I truly believe that many of us were mismatched from the getgo, got lost in attraction and then became comfortable in a situation that our spouses were not. When attraction wore off, our spouses were left to face reality and their masks peeled off.

Cunningham says, as above, that it is 'easy' to keep a bad relationship going. I concur.

I think the challenge here is, when we finally come to this conclusion, that we don't go back to lobbing all the blame at our WAS's, assume the responsibility for the changes that WE needed, develop new and better tools and then move forward with them, "better, faster....stronger."

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;