My point exactly... the WAS doesn't get to dictate the divorce then act "normal" with the texting, showering, inquiring where you are and who you are with and trying to be intimate with you.
This is where you need to set a boundary for YOU and YOU only and you can't worry about what your H will think or feel about it.
It means what it means for ALL WAS's... they are confused as to why you are not reacting w/pleading and crying and begging and why you are no longer "there" in the same capacity they are accustomed to.
I would simply tell him that since he feels he wants a divorce things will be changing and until he has sorted out his own mind and confusion you would prefer he honor and respect your personal space. If he would like to behave as a married couple there are many avenues to explore to begin to repair your marriage. If his desire is NOT to explore methods to repair your marriage with equal contribution then "acting" like a married couple when it suits him and him only is no longer acceptable to you.
Be calm and compassionate when you tell him this. Don't engage in conflict with him and NO R TALKS. Do not cry and show little emotion. Be confident but not cocky and continue to be very mysterious and vague. Say what you have to say then remove yourself from the room in the least dramatic way possible. Let him chew on that for a while.
Stop trying to figure him out. You won't. My WAS who left me in March of 2008 and is still with his affair is telling me he would like us to wipe the slate clean after our legal separation is filed and for us to get to know one another again. He says if that "goes well" then he will tell his GF. LOL! Um, no. So when I say the WAS is confused my H is a fine example.
