this is from Sandi2, she was a AWAW and was in a EA. She knows how women think, feel and their perceptions:
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Don't fear her anger. Expect it and be prepared for it. She needs to see a man who shows strength and won't be used as a doormat.
If she is in an EA with OM (and sounds as if she is) then she will have little respect or admiration for you as long as you try to "make her happy". As I'm sure you know, nobody can make her happy but herself.....but I will go another step and say that as long as she is in this WAW mode, then you really should not focus on trying to "please her". I don't mean to give you the idea that you should be a brute, but when LBH's start trying to please their WAW....it comes across as being "weak". If you have a WAW b/c of her feelings for OM....then she needs tough love to be applied.
Marriage isn't about giving and taking. You are giving (being a friend) with the expectation that it will show her your love. That's not true giving it's not authentic or genuine. Do you really believe your wife is doing the right thing right now? Sometimes being a friend means you tell someone they are out of line or screwing up, that's love.
Quote:
Does anyone know which stratagem has had the most success at reconciling an R. Yes Does anyone know which stratagem has had the most success at creating successful detachment and mental well being in the event of a D. Yes
open your mind, some of your views are dysfunctional
Even if you do everything by the book, you still could end up divorced.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
