Can I save my marriage?

[RedHeadWife]

I just want to be here if he decided to come home to us.

What everyone is trying to get through to you is:

******WHAT IF HE DOESN'T COME HOME**********

All of the changes and GAL'ing are supposed to be for YOU, not to lure him back.

They are all things so that YOU love YOU and are ok if he doesn't come back in the long run.

I understand that you say you love your husband more than anything, but I also think there is probably a lot of fear of the unknown and being alone. I can remember those feelings very well. I was so scared of what was going to happen if he never decided to stay and what I was going to do in that event. I was so entangled in my life as it was (3 kids, etc.) that I had lost myself and didn't know who I was anymore. I was scared b/c I was afraid of being by myself, the person I didn't know anymore and didn't know what to do w/ anymore. I had absolutely no life outside of the home & work, no friends, nothing, what was I going to do w/o him? That's where the GAL'ing comes in. You HAVE to get out there & figure out who you are now. You have to dig deep and find that person you USED to be, but lost. She is still there somewhere.

As hard as it is to do things by yourself, you have to get out and find things that you like to do and start a life for YOURSELF.

That's what it is all about. Finding YOU again and being happy w/ YOU and then it doesn't matter whether he comes home again or not. Either way, you will be fine.