In shock...

[praying_in_GA]

Ok, well, now that I feel like offing myself because I am such a horrible game player....

I mean, I know this is a supportive site and I know that you are here to help me. I do not think she is trying to take my husband. If I am completely wrong I will eat my words later and I will YET AGAIN feel complete guilt for EFFING up my marriage. I still don't think that is what is going on.

I wake up every morning, look over at our wedding picture and realize that it is my fault he left. Then I look down at my two kids asleep next to me and think of how much I have screwed their life up but my inability to a good wife. Then I get up and do the same damn thing everyday. I take care of two kids and a great dane. I might go to work (I only work three days a week), I get very little sleep, and I do it all over again the next day.

I am a huge POS for letting this go as far as it did....and now I can't even get the afterlife right. Fine, I guess I will screw this up too. Should I just file the darn papers myself since I am just digging and digging and digging?

I guess I will put on this huge play for everyone except my computer screen. I will be the amazingly resilient wife who had a sudden epiphany and decided one morning she didn't need her husband. She didn't mess up her kids life, a step father will be wonderful! Time to go to acting class because the front I will have to show and the feelings inside will be complete opposites.