my ex h just got remarried. we have been a part now two years, (he originally left me for an ow -- that didn't work out - lol). It was devistating. we also have a daughter, 6 years old. there waas a custody battle (I won) and the whole thing was hideous. I still have to deal with him due to our daughter and it's difficult because I still have much anger (the affair, leaving, kidnapping our daughter, my having to fight to get her back, the list goes on and on).
Since this, though I have gotten remarried and we had a gorgeous baby girl 2 months ago. So now, if I am remarried (and believe me, my husband is wonderful and he is a mmuch better match for me), WHY DO I CARE THAT EX H IS NOW REMARRIED???? she (his new wife) is 13 years younger than him (early 20's), has a 7 month old son (not ex h's) and the whole thing is just bothering me.
I obviously have much anger and sadness and plan to get back into therapy. I have so much to be grateful for now, wonderful new husband, BOTH my girls, living back in the place I love and so much more. I guess I thought I was more "healed" with regards to the leaving, etc of ex h. I don''t love him anymore in the romantic sense, this I know, but I will always love him to a degree (he is the father of our d) and I think part of what I am feeling is that I nevver got a real sense of closure.
He has never really apologized for the bomb, affair, trying to take d from me (lying, taking me to court, taking her out of state for a month -- long story) and maybe if I had some closure like just a simple, "I'm sorry" I could get past this. And I admit, maybe a part of me LIKED the fact that I found my husband, got engaged, the whole bit while he was alone after the woman he had an affair with kicked him to the curb. I felt a sense of satisfaction that he f'd up his life and I felt justified. Sick I know.
I know I need to forgive him. I wasn't perfect in the marriage either. I was very unhappy. But I didn't stray and I will never forget how horrible that all was, how devistating, how ALONE I felt, how much he acted like I was "yesterday's news", just couldn't wait to get divorced. Couldn't make it happen fast enough. Those first few months I tried so hard to keep our family together even though I knew, regardless of the ow, we had issues and I had been unhappy for a long time. But I couldn't break up our family. It was the worst thing I ever went through.
I truly love my new h. He is emotionally avail. to me in a way ex h never was and our love continues to grow and grow. He never critizes me, we actually TALK about issues. It's a very dif. dynamic than I EVER had with ex h.
so then why do I CARE that he is now a husband to someone else??? thanks everyone.
