Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

It sounds good, but as I've said before...just be sure that is what you want to do and that you can stick to what you've said.

I thought I'd answer the last question first.

All I know is that what I have done up to now has had the effect of pushing my W further and further away from me. Nothing I do is actually the right thing to do - I be nice to her and I'm perceived as weak. I tackle her on things and I'm perceived as aggressive. I say no to her and I'm being unhelpful. I ignore her and she perceives me as uncaring. I tell her I love her with all my heart and send her a 33 page love letter and she doesn't even read it as it's too hard emotionally.

Nothing I do is the right thing and therefore I'm at a loss as to what I actually should do.

What I want to do is get on with my life and the NC is what will make that happen. What I want to do is simply let go of my W and move on with life. That doesn't mean I don't love her or would not be open to reconcilling. It just means that I can't do this anymore. I have times where I do let go and I feel a lot better but these are during periods of NC. My W is here tonight for example and I'm already anxious about the situation.

I know NC is for me and my D. But ultimately I want my W back and I'm at a complete and utter loss as to how to do that. Letting go is all that is left for me. If she follows, and I sincerely doubt she will, then great. Otherwise, and with a heavy heart and deep deep regret, I will try and repair myself.

I don't know why your W has to have supervised visits with your D, but if that is the case....maybe you are doing the right thing....IDK.

I simply don't trust my W at this stage to not introduce my D to the OM. Her texts before saying that my D would "have to meet him one day" scared me and my D's mum. They were quite forceful and not written by somebody who has my D's best interests at heart.

New letter draft:

"
I will no longer accept your A and continue to keep the truth quiet about the damage it has done to our marriage and our family.

By leaving, you have caused D to have anger and resentment. She needs time and space to understand her feelings and to heal over our family being torn apart.

I have made many changes over the past few months and I'm determined to continue my growth into the best Father and man that I can be.

I have decided that there should only be contact between us for two reasons. To either discuss the reconciliation of our marriage or the potential end of our marriage. The first one I can't discuss while you have invited a third person into our marriage and the second one is best left to solicitors, I think.

In the meantime, I must move on with my life without you.

"

Yeah?

Somebody has suggested to me, just before I cut all contact, that I contact everybody on his and her friends lists at Facebook and tell them, without bitterness or vindictiveness, the real story of what happened. I've this week heard another story of what apparently caused us to break and I'm simply sick of nobody hearing my side of the story.

I have mentioned this before in here and I think PDT in particular said no to this as who would want to come back to somebody who acts like that. I just think what have I got to lose? It may put pressure on the A ... I don't know. As I said I'm a bit at a loss as to what to do for the best ... all I know is that I have done hasn't worked.