that home comment she made really hurt, i really wanted to say, you were going to call me when i can come home,remember... this is just my adventure spot,how bout you stay here and i'll go home.
Okay, you lost me with the bubbles and libido, but anyway... okay she came in with your D. Now I get it. I thought she just came in by herself! Hmmm, yeah she needs to have some boundaries on that. I would not want my ex in my house even with my kids if I wasn't home.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I was kinda hoping she would come in, she made the comment i went from my mom's to her house, wanted her to see i can keep a place clean. I can, I have, she just has forgotten. Even though I'd like to leave it messy.
Had a feeling this AM MLC would come over today, popped in my gut at 7 this morning, so I cleaned before I went to work.
it was nice and sad to hear her old voice...i miss that voice, then she ruined it with the home part. i can tell she's still determined to be free of me, i didn't sense any hesitancy.
Is it true if I set boundaries and quit with the overpaying, I stand a better chance of success, it sounds counter intuitive and not nice, but way earlier someone told me to let her twist, should I?
Opinions and bear in mind that is totally the opposite of me.
As I have been told many times. If what you are doing is not working. try a different approach. Divorce busting goes against what we would naturally think is the way to handle things. That is why it works.
Remember, the boundaries are for you, not for her. They are to help you along in this process and keep you emotionally sane.
I am starting to set some boundaries now and it is having quite an interesting affect on my W I think. She isn't used to it.
It can't hurt you. It might help you. I have seen it help many others.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
"she's still determined to be free of me, i didn't sense any hesitancy."
Do you honestly feel that you have improved YOURSELF to the point that you are a better option?
Have you worked on changing the parts of you that need changing?
Or have you spent the last three months only really thinking about saving the marriage and doing things you THINK will save the marriage?
You are once again waiting for any little tidbit of information you can get from your kids in regards to your wife. You need to let that go and worry about you. Space will work for you in many ways; 1)It gives her what she wants 2) It gives you room to work on yourself. The faster you give up wanting those little nuggets of info...the better you will feel.
Business-So you are paying the agreed upon support amount and then paying more. Yet she still doesn't have enough to cover the bills or else is using it for other things. Time for a boundary...stop overpaying. If the kids need something above and beyond....then take them shopping yourself. If the kids need food, then go take them out for dinner. I understand protecting the welfare of the kids, but your money may not be being used towards that end. Remember that your wife is the one that chose this route.....the reality is that she will not have the same amount of money as is used to. That is something she has chosen to give up. I think it would be a good slap of reality to find out that you won't be helping her financially anymore beyond what was agreed upon.
