Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Hey S, you know how I feel regarding your xh. He is way beyond putting the cuckoo back in the clock.
You also know that I understand that you need to have contact with him because you have young children. You need to feel they are as safe as they can be with him and you need to be able to have contact.
Here's where I get a little uncomfortable. I feel like he is calling the shots, he gets to have things the way he wants to and manipulates you. When that happens, everyone loses, ya know?
So, somewhere there needs to be boundaries set and adhered to because if you dont, this crazy freakin game you two play will go on for a looonnnggg time. After awhile, its gonna get really played out and tired.
Do what you can to limit contact with him. This texting and calling you all the time is not right, its not good for you.
The offer always stands, if you need me to talk to him, Brooklyn style, you just let me know. It will be VERY clear to him what he needs to do, that he needs to back way the hell up and that he needs to be looking over his shoulder for a little woman with a Brooklyn accent and no fear - LOL!.
Hey B. Yes, he has been manipulating me b/c I have been letting him, trying to somehow keep him friendly and "uncrazy" b/c I am scared for my kids (having to be around a crazy person). I'm aware that that is fruitless and is wearing me out. One cannot keep another person from being crazy.
After he got the email about the phone and then he called me that night and I told him we don't need to talk and go through S's phone for communication if he wants to talk to them, I have not had any problems with him. I haven't talked to him since then. It's only two days, but that's like a worlds record for him not calling/txting me.
It is SO peaceful when he leaves me alone. He will be at soccer practice tonight, and I am going to try to stay busy with my friends and pretty much let him be. He keeps telling me that he realizes he's got to let go, but I know that I haven't helped that by being friendly and nice to him. I should have just been straight with him this whole time. My "friendliness" has probably contributed to him not letting go.
I also think that he knows I am seeing someone, and that little bit of reality has possibly slapped him in the face. I haven't told him, but just from stuff he says I get that idea.
I miss you B!!! We have got to talk soon. Or IM or whatever... LOL
I think your party would be awesome for New Years Eve...
Love ya!
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Oh, fogot to mention that my S talked me into taking them to Chili's for dinner last night. I think that is the first time I have taken them alone (b/c of D4) to sit down and eat at an actual restaurant. We had a really good time, d4 got a little loud but was good over all. My S9 is soooo sweet and such a little "grownup" and he always holds the door for me and etc.
The kids and I both are so much better and more relaxed nowadays. It feels really good. You do get to that point where you can feel the black cloud of constant stress lift and just want to enjoy life. It would help me greatly if ex would leave me alone, but I am trying to set boundaries and do what I can with that, yet knowing at the same time that I cannot control him or what he does.
Oh, and this little bit of info came my way last night... Tinkerbell's bday is in 20 days!!! As she is just so excited about on her m/s. LOL That means that when we sep. last year, she had either JUST turned 18 when they started seeing each other... OR more likely, since they already worked together and I don't think that they just MAGICALLY hooked up right when we split up, that she was probably just 17 whenever they started seeing each other. That sh*t makes me want to vomit. He is truly sick... I mean, hello! Our son is 9! EWWWWWWWWWW.
Last edited by SoCo; 11/11/0904:08 PM.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
OMG!!! I didn't realize tinkerbell (lol, love the nick name) was so young. Wow. I guarantee you that won't last. She will dump him before long. He is definitely living in fantasy land if he thinks that one is going to last. Wow.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Oh it's a long ugly story and actually B came up with that nickname. Yeah, she was one of his employees... thus leading to him losing his job.... I know, I know... Jerry, Jerry....
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Well, had a ridiculous conversation w ex last night. He called supposedly about soccer practice and it went into the "why can't you just forget about everything that has happened" conversation.
My son told ex that they were sleeping over with my mom on Friday, and they are b/c she called and asked me if they could. He assumes it is b/c I have plans and starts ranting about how I "rub" my plans and dating in his face.... LOL... Now, mind you I have no plans for Friday, this was my mom's idea. I have never once told him about my personal plans. But this is the same man?? that sat in my living room a month after we sep. and told tinkerbell loudly on the phone that he loved her....
I just laughed and told him sorry he felt that way that he was projecting big time. LOL He doesn't know what that is, but anyway.
He wants to know why I can't just forget everything and let us move back in together. Well, maybe b/c he is still right in the middle of crazy and has done NO work to fix himself, still hasn't started counseling, etc. AND the fact that he just went wayyyyy too far with his nonsense, such as assaulting me in front of my children. That I could never forget. Guess his mind is fuzzy about all of that. Selective memory. MLC memory. Or just plain crazy. Who the hell knows.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Lets not forget, he is also still with tinkerbell correct? That would have to be stopped on top of everything else to even consider a reconciliation.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I mean, hello! Our son is 9! EWWWWWWWWWW.