Right now, it's all quiet on the Western front. Pleasant weekend. I suppose both of us are processing the latest developments. Things are surprisingly normal.
Just returned to your thread after a short break off the forums. Wow. I think her going to MC is amazingly great. Don't dismiss the baby steps.
You and I are both starting MC soon - another fork in the road. Who knows where it leads, but can only be positive in the end.
Keep taking care of yourself.
Hope,
I am surprisingly underwhelmed by her decision to go to MC. I would have thought this would have been more significant. Perhaps it is I still do not believe she is doing it for the right reasons. But, in the end, she has agreed to go. So, I won't get caught up in the "why."
I am interviewing MC's now. I know this is not going to be a "silver bullet" for our M. However, I want to give us the best chance of succeeding, and that starts with selecting the right MC.
"we spend all this time rehashing the past and rehearsing for the future."
I read a similar sentiment once and it stuck with me: "Regret and Worry are Twin Thieves that rob us of today'.
Originally Posted By: brownidmom
Not sure about you or anyone else reading this, but truer words have never been spoken for me. I still play "what if?" way more than I should. If I could just put all that energy into myself and my boys instead of wondering how this and that are going to play out, I'd be making much more progress in a shorter period of time.
May I suggest Eckhart Tolle's The Power Of Now and A New Earth (which starts out a bit obtuse and new-agey, but stick with it, it's worth it). Both books concentrate on eliminating mind chatter, regret (past) worry (future) and help maintain now and being rather yesterday and tomorrow and thinking and doing.
Sorry for hijacking the hijack.
I do have the Power of Now. Read it a couple of years back. Guess I need to dust it off. I'll have to check out the New Earth. Thanks! BIM
BIM M 39 / H 40 / S 9 / S 6 / T 20 / M 11
my sitch: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1828127#Post1828127
Just returned to your thread after a short break off the forums. Wow. I think her going to MC is amazingly great. Don't dismiss the baby steps.
You and I are both starting MC soon - another fork in the road. Who knows where it leads, but can only be positive in the end.
Keep taking care of yourself.
Hope,
I am surprisingly underwhelmed by her decision to go to MC. I would have thought this would have been more significant. Perhaps it is I still do not believe she is doing it for the right reasons. But, in the end, she has agreed to go. So, I won't get caught up in the "why."
I am interviewing MC's now. I know this is not going to be a "silver bullet" for our M. However, I want to give us the best chance of succeeding, and that starts with selecting the right MC.
Well look at it this way - a MC appointment beats a court date!
I am interviewing MC's now. I know this is not going to be a "silver bullet" for our M. However, I want to give us the best chance of succeeding, and that starts with selecting the right MC.
Absolutely!!!
My W and I went to a MC shortly after the separation.
Counselor: “W, how do you feel about the marriage?”
W: “I’m done”
Counselor: “Well, Norm, W seems to be done. I think we should move on to the next step.”
Whaaaaat???? It was a freakin’ disaster!!
From your perspective, the purpose of counseling is to HEAL THE REALATIONSHIP.
Shop counselors from that perspective.
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
My W and I went to a MC shortly after the separation.
Counselor: “W, how do you feel about the marriage?”
W: “I’m done”
Counselor: “Well, Norm, W seems to be done. I think we should move on to the next step.”
Whaaaaat???? It was a freakin’ disaster!!
That's actually very good advice. You have to detach enough to see it. I had the same thing happen to me and my initial reaction was the same. I went back to the same counselor alone and saw the wisdom in it later. The MC isn't going to change someones mind. The LBS has to get to the same point of detachment - "I'm done." Now your dead and can function like you need to.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
