Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

So I'm painting my living room, at its going great. I'm watching a great t.v show at the same time and everything is fine. Then my best friend calls and tells me about her day and night. Her family day and family night. And the renovating they are doing to their home, and it just sparks the renovating my H told me he supposedly wants to do to our house two weeks ago. And it all comes barrelling down on me again. If its not one thing, its another. I try so hard not to let it bother me but its impossible.

citygirl, I'm definitely going to take your advice on the boundary making. I need to say that to him, for my own good. I hate being here sometimes and being paranoid he might just walk through the door at any time. Its uncomfortable for me.
Does your H push and pull as well? Mine does it constantly. Almost from one day to the next. He is hot one day wanting me and family time, the next he barely wants to talk to me, or if he does he gives me nothing. Then he's back to hot again then next encounter we have. Alot of it is the environment he is in. If he is out with the "guys" or at work, he doesn't need us, but if he is at a party where I would normally have gone, or a family event without his family, then he wants us. Why can't they realize they can have all that at home? I just want to tell him that, but obviously won't.

Today is the first day in almost 3-4 weeks, that I have had no contact with him. Its hard all over again.

Trent, I talked to H a couple of nights ago about sat. night. He assured me without me asking that she is so annoying. All she did was talk about herself all night. I know he dislikes her, he always has. His reputation at work would be ruined if he ever pursued anything with her as she applied to his service and they denied her because she has serious issues. So I'm not worried about her anymore. I don't know that he has changed his mind, but its been two weeks since the comment to the BIL and two weeks since our "breakthrough" conversation. How long is it going to take to finally come home. If he really wanted to would he not be here by now?

We have a joint email account that is under his name, but I always used it as well. I haven't used it in months, he knows that since I just use facebook now, and the other day was his work xmas party invite. He hasn't mentioned it to me yet, and everyday I go in there it just sits there. He keeps deleting the new emails that come in, but he leaves that one in the inbox. I hate seeing it there, cause it leads me to believe he is waiting to see how things go with us before then. His crew at work is pure couples. There isn't one single person. Those types of things bother H. There I go again, mind-reading.