Well, you *could* get that comment from your BIL out of your head you are simply choosing not to. Actions speak louder than words so comments are simply that... comments.
Welcome to the world of the push and pull of the WAS. One day they can't get enough of you and the next day they act as if you don't exist. They are scared and confused people.
WAS for some reason feel they actually have the power to give a LBS "false hope". Hence the reason they rarely share what they are thinking. If they were actually thinking at all they would realize that nobody has the power to give anybody false hope unless you let them.
As far as your boundary #2 I would not use the term "let him" as it sounds controlling. I would say... "H, I would prefer it if you no longer spent the night here since you don't live here anymore. Its best we maintain separate households until we work out all the particulars. Also, I would appreciate it, since you chose to no longer live here, if you would call prior to coming over and knock instead of using MY key" Then say NOTHING more.
Say all that with confidence and a HUGE smile then saunter away like you are a Victoria's Secret model. Do not engage in any further talk about it. If he has anything to say about it simply respond with "yup, separation is tough business for ALL involved" (I tell my H that all the time).
With all due respect you just need to grow a pair. Since we are ladies they can be sparkly and cute but you need them.
