In shock...

[TrentC]

Thanks Trent....it's good to know I didn't completely screw up by talking to her. I know she is either on the phone with him now or will be tonight telling him I asked her about it.

Should I mention anything to him?

Well, you can quote my wife...

She told me that she understands how much I want this to work and she knows how much I love him but that I can't change the way he feels...no one can.

And this is why she needs to stay out of this. Your family loves you, but they want you to stop hurting more then they want to help you do what you think is right.

I had the same issue with my father; this is what I said to him, almost word-for-word:

"I appreciate that you love me and want to see me get through this. But this is my marriage, and my wife, and I will deal with both as I see fit. If you can't support me in this, then I don't feel the need to discuss this with you any further."

Feel free to steal that, too.

All I am asking for is positive thoughts from people, why is that so hard. She said she is not on either 'side' she wants to be there for everyone involved. She just seems so negative in relation to us trying to work this out and it depresses me even more.

This means she has some incentive for it to not work out, which brings up the possibility of an affair again...