"Doctor - heal thyself" - and you will, there are so many 'love docs' here to help you!! Now, paint on that smile if you have to and go do something (however small) for YOU. Make it count and make it real - even if it's enjoying a glass of wine, reading a chapter from your favourite book or spending 10 minutes playing with your dog .... it's the start of you looking out for yourself, learning to love and respect yourself and putting your problems away for a short time.
Remove yourself from the situation in head and heart - detach yourself emotionally as it will help you - it's only for 10 minutes to start with but it's darned good practise. True relaxation is hard to find for most of us in the beginning - too many thoughts buzzing around and panic their constant companion. You have time - nothing that can't be reversed is going to happen overnight ... don't react to anything right now - it will not serve you well. Listen and validate. Be the one to finish conversations first. Be the one to go to bed first. Be polite and endearing. "Act as if" things are going to be OK. I take it that you and your W are still both at home? Try to maintain that status - once they walk, DB'ing is so very much more difficult.
Also in the medical game (I'm an RN, Legal & Forensic Psych. but working in Occ. Health), I have found it most useful to seek out a person at work whom I trust and can be of most value to me - whether that person is another Doc, an RN or a Psych etc ... just choose someone wisely - watch and feel with your cerebral side - then you will know who that person is. It does help if you can have just one person in the workplace to have a coffee with, spill your emotions a little and then get back on to work feeling a little unburdened. Some days, you will need that support and your environment is holding a key person with whom you can share your confidence at this time.
Work helps. Consider it a 'holiday' from your troubles. We know how busy ED can be - you have to concentrate and that's the hardest part. You have to maintain the income - I note that there are financial difficulties right now - even for those of us who have always enjoyed good finances, these times put pressure to bear upon us and most find themselves short of $ as well as a loving spouse. It all adds to the trauma pile.
I'm just rushing off to work but I will call by later and see how you are going.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
