Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Yes, I am definitely co-dependent. Thanks Trent for pointing that out again. I didn't realize when I wrote that sentence how I was being. You're right I'm am a H pleaser. Its getting me nowhere.

You keep saying this, but you don't seem to get it.

I need to fight my fears and just do it. If there is one thing I'm going to do this week it is going to be setting a boundary.

No, what you should do is a) talk to someone about anxiety issues, and b) talk to someone about co-dependancy.

Until you address either or both of those, you aren't going to get anywhere. You'll still be wrapped up in trying to please him, and trying to eradicate any sense of yourself to hold onto him.

My sister is so frustrated with how I can't seem to have an ounce of anger in my body toward him but I love the man and support him and hope he is just making a small stupid mistake. I don't want to get angry I just want to be here if he decided to come home to us.

Why do you "love and support him"? What has he done recently to earn your support?

He's not making a "small stupid mistake"; that's enabling his behavior, and minimizing what he did. He walked out on his family. That is not a normal reaction to family problems. That is not how someone who loves you should choose to deal with you.