Moving on with my life!

[bright_new_day]

He seems to be doing alot this week! Got new tires on his truck yesterday was the reason he didn't come earlier for his visit!

I know i need to garnish. Just one of those arguments I am not looking forward to.

If he can put tires on his truck then he had the money to support his child, he chose not to! You need to go do the paperwork today. There is no argument necessary. Simply say your daughter comes first to you, so you are doing it for her. End of discussion. I used to worry about doing or saying something to make X mad, then I realized it didn't matter, what was he going to do....divorce me?! Ba ha ha. Oops, he already did that, he has no power over me!

[Startingover2]

Ok...I sent attorney an email asking what the process is!

[volleydog]

Good...just don't let him drag you into an argument you can always hang up the phone.

[bright_new_day]

Good for you. Make sure to follow through. You will probably need to go to Children's Sevices and fill out paperwork, but it will be worth the time it takes.

[JAK58]

SO2

I have to agree with everyone here. you need to file for child support garnishment. I feel the reason you don't want to is in the back of your head you still wan things to work out and this will be one more thing that gets in the way.

If this is the case please let go and move on.

Hugs,
Jak

[Reincarnated]

I am glad you got with your atty on this. No matter what your emotions are, or his, the kids HAVE to be put first. And that means basic financial support, from both of you, following the judgement.

SO, as others said to me, you don't have to stop loving him. But you have to deal with him as he really is. (Just read a good article on that very thing on Psych Today...)

[Startingover2]

Maybe I do have that stupid hope. Why!!!!? What is so wrong inside me to even have that thought or fantasy? Why do I care if he gets mad? Your right...did he care when he slept with OW and ruined his family? NOPE.

My attorney got back to me and gave me the process to get the ball rolling. I have to go get the paperwork and it takes a few weeks to actually get going.

[Reincarnated]

There is nothing wrong with you.

I finally realized why I was still "barking up that tree." - I wanted to fix it. First for me and him, then for the whole family.
In the end, it was about the kids.

I felt that if I "gave up," moved on, that I was also letting my kids down, agreeing that breaking up their home was necessary, etc.

It's all internal BS. You are normal. But you have to think with your head and tell your heart to shut up for a while (I did this on a minute-by-minute basis!)

[Startingover2]

There is nothing wrong with you.

I finally realized why I was still "barking up that tree." - I wanted to fix it. First for me and him, then for the whole family.
In the end, it was about the kids.

I felt that if I "gave up," moved on, that I was also letting my kids down, agreeing that breaking up their home was necessary, etc.

It's all internal BS. You are normal. But you have to think with your head and tell your heart to shut up for a while (I did this on a minute-by-minute basis!)

I think you are right. I really had divorce and what it has done to my older kids even with a good coparenting relationship. It sucked for them. Two houses, two beds, two Christmases (not all bad!), etc. We did as much as we could together but still it was hard for them. I can't imagine all of this constant drama with exh for another 16 1/2 years!

I also feel rather unattractive. This sounds strange, but I have never really had a problem finding attention. I am not talking relationship to realationship, but just flirty attention or being asked out on dates. Now I have NOTHING! Nobody flirts with me, nobody really even gives me a second look. Maybe its being middle aged with a toddler. I know that shouldn't matter but in a way it does. I feel like the ugliest, lonliest person in the world. I have always told others dating and relationships don't matter or make you happy, but it would be nice to feel at least wanted. When my first exh and I split I had quite a few guys calling and asking me out. Then when exh and I split that first year I had the same thing. Now...nothing for almost 1 1/2 years. It takes its toll on your ego.

[JAK58]

There is nothing wrong with you so2. All of the feelings you have are normal.
You just need to figure out how you are going to deal with them
and move on from there.

[/quote]
It's all internal BS. You are normal. But you have to think with your head and tell your heart to shut up for a while (I did this on a minute-by-minute basis!)[quote]

Yep agreed!

JAK