Can I save my marriage?

[Ready2Change]

I try so hard to avoid contact with him.

There is a difference between trying and doing.

But when he comes over for swimsuits. I'm on the couch watching t.v and he strolls in and sits down on the chair, what am I to do?

You have lots of choices. You can continue to let him stroll in (is that working?). You can set a boundary - "I feel disrespected when you just walk into my house without being invited."

I think he still craves that contact with me. In a way he still needs that "wife" interaction with me.

Make him crave it MORE. AVOID CONTACT.

That's why I am soooooooo confused right now.

It is confusing and also counter intuitive, but that is OK. We grow during the tough times.

Its been 3 days of crying now. My face looks like a watermelon. My heart is so shriveled up it probably looks like a raisin.

I am so sorry. HUGS. It is OK and normal to cry, just DO NOT DO IT IN FRONT OF SPOUSE. Feel the feelings. It is healthy. DO NOT STUFF them.

A very good 180 to put in place:
"Focus your attention on YOU and take it off of SPOUSE" Keep making positive change in you.