You are not DB'ing because you are not detached. You spend every second looking for clues and reasons as to why your H is acting like he is. You are not setting personal boundaries and you are not putting the focus 110% on you.
Just because he contacts you daily it doesn't mean you have to respond. When he contacts you, you jump at the chance for any crumb he throws your way.
Stop saying you are doomed. If you think you are doomed than you are. There is no timeline for this process. If you were told you had cancer you would have to be positive that you would beat it. You would not give up and say you are doomed. Adopt that mindset. Right now there is a "cancer" in your marriage but it wont doom you unless you let it.
Nobody knows why he isn't coming home so stop obsessing about it. The person who cares least about the R has all the control and right now your H cares least and he knows he is in the drivers seat.
Stop answering all his calls. Start setting boundaries. Stop being so available to him and start showing him what his life will be like w/o you as a wife.
You do way too much speculating about what your H craves. Maybe he is just being nice and trying to set the tone so the both of you can be good co-parents and nothing more. Maybe he feels sorry for you or is so racked with guilt he cant see straight. Nobody knows so stop trying to figure it out.
I for one would not allow my H just to stroll in as he pleased. If your H chooses not to live at home then he can call ahead of time and knock on the door just like any other guest would.
Go hardcore for YOU.
Spot on.
I make my H call first, and he must ring the doorbell and be allowed into the house. He doesn't live here.
