Kerry....it comes down to ...our choices. Granted, many of us fell into complacency or ...whatever. It's who WE chose that contributed to getting us here (among a few other things lol)
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Looking back, I could have dated my wife for 2 years and I would have still married her. That is what scares me about dating now - how to chose. Maybe I should move to Saudi Arabia and get a harem where the members dont have the same monthly cycle.
Funny....have you ever checked out Cunningham's site? I DEFINITELY saw signs (not just crying spilled milk) that in retrospect were warning signs of emotional immaturity and instability.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I chose to look the other way as well because there were other "things" that enticed me. Well I guess that is part of the maturing process. Today, I realize that I should probably not have gotten involved back then. If we are brutally honest, I think most of us can find signs that there may have been trouble ahead. I am talking about character flaws here, not stuff like she does not cook well or he does not help around the house stuff. Well here is to hoping we all learned our lesson and will have our antennas on and our blinkers off as well (there I go again with horse racing lingo).
I chose to look the other way as well because there were other "things" that enticed me. Well I guess that is part of the maturing process. Today, I realize that I should probably not have gotten involved back then. If we are brutally honest, I think most of us can find signs that there may have been trouble ahead. I am talking about character flaws here, not stuff like she does not cook well or he does not help around the house stuff.
I agree with all. Near the end, we blame ourselves heavily for the demise of our marriage. Certainly, we all have imperfections which I think are conquerable in a healthy relationship. I truly believe that many of us were mismatched from the getgo, got lost in attraction and then became comfortable in a situation that our spouses were not. When attraction wore off, our spouses were left to face reality and their masks peeled off.
Cunningham says, as above, that it is 'easy' to keep a bad relationship going. I concur.
I think the challenge here is, when we finally come to this conclusion, that we don't go back to lobbing all the blame at our WAS's, assume the responsibility for the changes that WE needed, develop new and better tools and then move forward with them, "better, faster....stronger."
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I swear this is true. As we are riding to the school, my W opens up to me that she was in contact with XXX via a paranormal and that she was able to contact her. The psychic reportedly got close to saying her real name, the psychic started to shake and to cry and said xxx was sad. Comments made to my W: -that xxx was sorry that she had to leave this earth..it was too early for her and she misses her kids and earthly sensations -that xxx can hear ME talk to her -that the psychic asked her about a Dr. Gray (anyone recall that my W nearly passed out in the mall? I described that sensation to her then as 'graying out'
xxx was my friend's wife who died of breast CA.
Hey Jeff...in retrospect, I think the psychic was seeing me read Dr. Gray from Venus and Mars....LOLOLOL.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
