Yes, I am tempted to just make this change and then wait a month or so before proceeding with anything else. I know that she is not in a rush. We are headed to her families house for T-day, and she wants to keep that. She doesn't want to tell her family or our kids any time soon. She wants to try to make Christmas as normal and happy for the kids as possible.
I'm not in a hurry to d. I just want out of this cold war limboland we are in.
The change to no sleeping together no physical affection will be an interesting one. It will allow me to be more relaxed, and at the same time will test me. My LL is strongly PA, so my natural inclination is to show affection first and primarily in this way. It's what drives me crazy when sleeping next to her. It's also why it throws me for such a loop when she initiates hugs, snuggles, sex, etc.
It is actually a chance to get to know her again without the Physical aspects, and an opportunity for me to learn the other LL's better. It may go either direction.
Neither of these discussions has been a fight. It has been more of a "Let's own up and together admit that our R is where it is". Outside of these discussions, our R is actually pretty polite, cooperative and pleasant - just distant and not affectionate.
So the question would then be now that I have declared my desire to press forward with mediation toward D, how agressively do I pursue it?
Last edited by Thinker; 11/10/0906:34 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
