Puppy - I have wrestled back and forth with this in my mind. I guess my rationale for continuing in our agreement (through our separation we came to an agreement that instead of me paying H rent that I could in exchange continue to buy the groceries, cook, and clean as my contribution) was that H is still paying for everything - rent, electric, gas, water, cable/internet/phone, as well as my car insurance, health insurance, cell phone, and toll-transponder.
So for me, it is an extremely fair deal (money/business-wise) to just be responsible for buying groceries, and cooking/cleaning. I do not clean his bedroom or bathroom, and I do not do his laundry. I only clean the common house areas of the kitchen, living room, and office and my bedroom and bathroom.
I can't afford to pay rent and my other bills with the part time income that I make right now. When I get other employment with more money, H said we could change the arrangement to him still paying for everything including groceries, so I could save enough within a short time to get my own place.
Do you think there is another way to still set a boundary?
I wasn't aware (or didn't remember) that business arrangement. So long as it WORKS FOR YOU, and you don't feel like you're being disrespected, then I think it's fine. Just be sure to CALL HIM ON IT anytime he gives you any disrespectful crap, okay?
I would also -- if you haven't already -- check with a family law atty to find out the dollar value of LIKELY SUPPORT he would be paying YOU (offset by what you would be paying HIM) if you guys were to "go legal" on all of this. I wonder if you're not bartering away things that he'd likely have to pay for, anyway??
