Having a tough day . have therapy tomorrow. I'm determined to come out of this a better person than before. This is a little tougher here cause W has business here and I told her she can have her shop til the end of year . I haven't gone back to see her yet.I'm holding off.
This past week I have avoided contact with wife while she is at home in her shop. Is this a good thing , let her miss me? I know it's less stressful. Also trying to detach assuming she will be gone for good. Am I hamdling this correctly. Avoid contact unless she speaks to me?
Bobby Hang in there buddy, I know its tough at times. Keep coming back to the fourm, I get lots of great stuff here. You also need to pick up the DR book, it at Borders or B & N. DO that tonight you will be glad you did. Great advise here, roam in the other posts and find the positive people you can relate to the most.
It gets better, but you have some work to do on your self and your POSITIVE ATTITUDE, so get the book and follow the advise, do not start any new relationship talks right now give her time and space, she is hurting right now and will say many things that will hurt. Avoid argueing and pleading.
I've been talking to her the last two days. Only made me feel worse. Somebody please give some words of encouragement. Really bad time right now.
Now you know why the dictum, "no R talk" comes into play. You are only going to hear things that you don't want to hear...have heard already....or cause pain.
Truly, the only chance you have is to get busy grieving the loss of your old marriage and refocus on your life and yourself. Get Dr. Gray's blue book Venus and Mars: Starting Over. Helped tremendously. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Thanks for the help. I have a couple of questions . I had mentioned to W that I wanted her to file seperation papers if she was going to pursue this OM. Push this or ease up? And are you guys saying that their life away isn't going as smoothly and as stress free as they let on?
Thanks for the help. I have a couple of questions . I had mentioned to W that I wanted her to file seperation papers if she was going to pursue this OM. Push this or ease up?
If she wants to be with the OM, then you need to take charge. If you want to keep her, you have to let her know that an affair or open marriage is not acceptable.
And if she is living in your house while she is canoodling with an OM, that needs to change as well. She gets a choice: she drops him like a hot potato and comes back to you, or she moves out to be with him while you consider filing for D.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
