Very good observation on the ADD. ADD people tend to over focus on one thing...in relationships it is the spouse. Then it tends to go into one of two directions;
1)Continued high attention on spouse which is inadvertently smothering 2)No attention at all on spouse because something else got the ADD spouses attention
It is just harder for an ADD person to find the middle ground between the two. We usually tend to be all or nothing type people.
One thought on questions...if you think her response is "none of your business"...don't ask it. Stay away from those questions completely.
That is tough for your son. He is just a casualty of the problem regretfully. His sadness is probably like a sword to the heart of your wife. Reminding her that she has made the choice to end the marriage and cause the pain he is feeling. So by soothing him she is creating pain for herself. So it is easier for her to ignore and feel that your son is going to get over it than address it. You just need to be there for him....continue to give him that little bit extra bonding time with dad.
