Dylan, I only wish I knew what happy felt like. I have thought a long time about that and why nothing brings me any joy. I don't know why. I exist and I work hard at being content, understanding that content does not equal happy. Two totally different things.
Daily rhetoric? There wasn't any. One day he was there, interacting as usual (although a little distant which I related to job stress....duh....how dumb am I? He was having an A!) and the next he wanted out and insisted there was no one else until I caught him in his lie. We didn't fight. He wasn't loving, kind, or considerate. Is that rhetoric? No. That's just him. He's dead inside - at least toward me.
It's not right of me to say that he destroyed everything. He just tore apart the comfortable world we had built and I can't seem to rebuild any portion of it on my own and I'm just feeling incredibly lonely and overwhelmed right now so everything feels a lot worse than it probably is.
Pushing through............
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
