I'm not ready to accept the marriage is over. Wife is too good of a person and like all of us we know what we had and what we did and what we can correct for ourselves. Besides I have 2 kids counting on me and me counting on me.
I'm going to continue to work on myself and change things about myself without bringing attention to it.
I am going to continue to be nice to wife.
This week she has been a little more forth coming in texts and emails. Kid stuff, but she also emailed me she is taking a new position with her employer.
I emailed her back, you excited, need to leave earlier in am, let me know, will help getting kids to school. hope the place throws you a party. have a good day ok.
I have always been a good guy, that was never in doubt with her. And my best play is to continue to reinforce that, but to do it differently, vs bringing attention to it, like i used to, honey i did this and this and this for you. I'm not saying a word and just doing. Saw she had no money, deposited some money in the acct. Took kids to get shoes last night, her night with the kids.
More importantly I feel she needs to continue to vent to me, there are keys to things in these angry emails and texts, not ready to put up a boundary yet.
When she reaches out with those, i need to respond nicely vs defend now and ignore the negative, but she's obviously hurting she needs to know I'm living, but thinking of her. Make sense?
The more I know what she is upset about the more I can quietly correct for me and her.
Psychiatrist I'm seeing asked me to set a visit with wifes' cnslr and see what wife had said to her that bothered her about me. He asked me to write wife a letter, said no way, i have made every mistake in the book, it's too soon, need time for her to see i am giving her space and not pressuring her.
I set an appt and lm on that cnslr's voicemail,call me if not comfortable. But way back when wife and I both signed the release of information for eachother. My gut swings back and forth on that. This visit is to help myself, don't want to know what's wrong with wife, want to know perceptions she had of me, so i can correct the pertinent ones.
