Rise Above This

[SoCo]

Wow, ghost town on the board today... there goes a tumbleweed... lol

Well, benchmark testing today. Boring day for me. The fire dept. did show up to do a timed unplanned fire drill during our test, so that was interesting. The firefighters were all young and hot too!! I thought about faking an injury...haha.

So... let's see...had a discussion with ex last night regarding the phone. He hadn't checked his email but he called me asking why I was upset about the phone. Ummm really? So, talked about that.

He asked me why I am always starting drama with him.. lol. Again, really? He told me that "everybody" had yelled at him today and "everybody" was mad at him. Hm... I suggested to him that maybe it was his attitude and overall demeanor.. hehe

So, I cannot continue to talk to him every day or have him harass me by phone, so here is the solution that I came up with. Since S has the phone to talk to me and his dad, I told J that when they are there I want S to answer the phone or txt if I txt him and it is NOT for J's personal use. He also is supposed to bring me money to replace the minutes he used over the weekend. We will see if that happens or not. I do have a little leverage though b/c he still owes me 200.00 for the kid's insurance this month.

I also told him that I will leave S's phone on at home when they are with me and he is free to call him on it, as long as it doesn't become excessive and using up all of his minutes (or he will need to reimburse me for some of it.)

THIS way, we can talk to the kids without having to talk to each other. I was really loving his reaction to this solution last night, after he had told me that I cause HIM drama.. LOL. He was shocked and appalled that I did not want him to call me on my phone just to talk to me. Said I always "blow him off" when it's not about the kids. Ummm yeah, cuz you always piss me off and start nonsense.. (I didn't say that part.) I told him to please email or txt me about any questions pertaining to the kids and I would get right back to him.

See, he had me in a catch 22 because if I didn't answer his calls he would say that he was calling for the kids and I wouldn't answer. But if I did answer, he didn't really want to talk to them, he was calling to bug me.

I am laying BETS that he will not call S over once a week or so. He didn't call to talk to them. He called to start stuff with me.

Also, I am upset b/c S says that he was upset about dad not letting him answer his phone, but didn't say anything to his dad b/c in his words, you know how dad is and his temper. I probed a little to find out what was up and he says dad has been screaming at them and he is afraid to make him mad.

Now, know that this is not my son's personality and we are very open with each other.He pretty much feels free to express his opinions to me, and we constantly laugh and joke around. Son is not afraid of me and I am known to yell occasionally when frustrated. Yet, he's still not scared to talk to me or tell me something. I am really wondering exactly how ex is treating them when they are there. It can't be good. I asked him if dad had touched them or just screamed, and he said just screamed. So, I am upset about this and S is starting to not want to go there. They have to go 3 weekends in a row due to Thanksgiving and he is not liking that one bit. I hope he doesn't get worse about not wanting to go, cuz it's gonna be hell to talk an exceptionally smart, mature, almost as big as me 9yo boy into having a good attitude about it if he doesn't want to.

They also came home telling me that dad was grilling them about my personal life, and that he gave them a big lecture about even if mom gets married again someday he will always be their only dad and blah blah blah. Ummm okay. Like they need that.

THEN D4 tells me that dad says that they better not meet any of mommies friends (I guess he means boyfriend) or dad will be really, really mad. Again, there he goes trying to villianize me to D4 as if I would be doing something wrong if someday down the road I intruduce them to someone. Mind you this is the same man that had them around the little girl within weeks of our separation. Unbelievable to me how he thinks. Oh and he has fed them chips and hot sauce for breakfast the last two times they have been there, cuz he didn't have any breakfast food. I don't ask them this stuff, my son just tells me because he knows that's not how we do things. Oh I think they've had ice cream for breakfast too.

Anyway... that's that and he is NOT being good for the kids right now. A lot of the time I just wish tha he had stayed gone whenever he moved 6 hours away this summer. The kids are exhausted and not the same when they come back from there. It takes me a good two to three days just to get them back into the groove.

So, I guess I am just venting, don't really know what I can do about any of this at this point.