First, I just want to say sorry for everything that is going on in your life right now. I know it sucks. I know it is confusing and frustrating. But things will change for the better. Everything will be OK.
Second, Coach and Puppy are very wise men. Read and reread every post they make. TrentC is also giving you very good 2x4's. Just remember that men are naturally "Fixer". We 2x4 more than we are compassionate. Just understand and accept that. They are giving you VERY SOUND ADVICE.
Third, Setting healthy boundaries with H will gain you respect and make you more desirable.
So here are phrases that I burned into my head that would be beneficial for you also:
"I am sorry you feel XYZ" "I understand you feel XYZ" "It must be hard to feeel XYZ" "mmmmm" "I see"
"Drop the rope! Do not pull the rope!" IE it takes two people to fight.
The choice is yours if you want to keep reacting the same way to H and getting the same results, or change the way YOU react to H and get different results.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
