Sorry you had a rough day. My anniversary was recent and while I bought a book for W, there was no acknowledgment from her of that day. I understand. Significant days are a bit!h.
There is nothing wrong with allowing yourself to grieve. Get it out and, more importantly, get it OVER. Just don't let yourself crawl down in that hole. Tough climb out.
The house is beautiful. But, you know what? Your next house will be just as gorgeous and is waiting for new family memories. And you WILL fill it that way.
Go back and review the cognitive dissonance stuff (wikipedia is a great source). Change your thought and change your emotion.
What's really eating at you that has you down? Is it the death of the M? Or is it fear that you are unlovebale or won't find happiness?
For me, it has been a fear I would not find happiness, would be lonely, and was not worthy of love. And, those simply aren't reasonable thoughts. They are perfect examples of negative, pervasive thoughts (see "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligmen) - "I will NEVER be happy," "No one will EVER love me," "I will ALWAYS be lonely."
So, if I change my unreasonable (and negative thinking) thoughts to a more rational viewpoint: "I will find happiness," "I will not be lonely," "Someone will love me,", then my emotions will follow along. Try it. It works.
