my realization about my M was that I was cold, uncommunicative and separate from my WAW.

I did not spend time with her, make her feel special or essentially loved and I didn't spend even nearly enough time with her doing things together.
I withdrew from my WAW at the start of our issues and devoted my time onto my boys - therefore making it worse.

How would withdrawing further and setting confrontational boundaries help in rescuing the R?
(I understand that boundaries are not designed to be confrontational but safeguards and security for myself.)

[b]This would be more of the same actions that caused her to walk out.

To rescue the M I must 180 my previous actions with her - and fill the gaps in our R that I was leaving.
The 'Forceful' stratagem is seen to be cold and separating by my WAW - and is part of the original problem.

Making her angry has been proven not to work with my WAW - she is as strong in her will as I am.

Talking, validating and listening to her with empathy has been proven to work.

As you say, continue what does work, not what doesn't.

Regards,
Gyn.



Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away,
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday.
Take what you need,
And be on your way and,
Stop crying your heart out.