The latest part of your situation caught my eye, about the accidental punching and your spouse's manner of suggesting sexual relations.
Mine used to call it a 'sleep aid'. I became used to thinking that even bad sex had positive results for my body. Now I wonder why I so willingly accepted crumbs.
Nocturnal knocks? Pillow talk, pillow fights are all based on having fun and intimacy. His manhandling is not being a pain in the ass, it's being physically aggressive. My spouse would whack me in his sleep if I nestled close to him. Needless to say, I stopped cuddling. But your guy is doing it directly to your face, in more ways than one.
Men know they are stronger than women in most cases. Stronger people use restraint so they don't injure others, just like parents teach the older sibling not to hurt the younger ones.
He is hitting, punching you. No way does playful pulling away pillows lead to physical injury. When my spouse and I would do something like and I'd get like a dog with a bone, he'd warn me to stop, that he might accidentally send me flying (which did happen once). It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
