He sounds like a classic Mid Life Crisis candidate.
I would recommend you consider posting on the MLC forum. You'll get lots of good support from people going through similar situations and you'll learn how to do the work you need to do on yourself.
It's true your husband is in crisis and it is impacting on you - but there are some skills and resources you can implement to be healthier emotionally.
Go over there and take a look at that forum. I think you'll find a good fit there.
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Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
