Can I save my marriage?

[TrentC]

Sadgirl, I love my husband.I have loved him since the day I set eyes on him. I don't want to love anybody else. I don't want to be anybody else's wife. That's what's wrong with it.

There is really nothing wrong with wanting to save your marriage. We're all in the same boat because we want to be with our spouses.

The issue is to not let your love for your husband define you. You are not your marriage. You can be in love with your husband and still be an individual.

As for tonight. I'm sitting in my robe watching t.v. and there goes the garage door. He popped by to get swimming shorts for the boys so they can go swimming tonight. We have a few minutes of conversation. He asks me what I was up to today. I told him not much. (Obviously I was in my robe and my hair wasn't done! errr..) So he leaves. Not even five minutes later the garage door opens again. He comes in saying he needs trunks for himself so he goes to the bedroom and grabs them.

OK, so whose responsibility was it to get stuff ready for the kids? Yours or his? Why did he have to come back for stuff?

Well if HE wants to get him a hockey table for xmas, why is it going in "my" house. I realize he is at is sister's now and there is no room and its not his house so it kind of has to go here. But once again, I read into things. " WE will just move the train table out and put it there" Well its your gift to your son, and I'm not going to play hockey with him, you are, so if its here H can't play it with him obviously.

There is another way to handle it; you handle it like:

"I don't think it's a good idea to be making large purchases while you are still trying to figure out what you want in this relationship, and certainly not if you don't have room for them over at your sister's place."

About an hour later phone rings, its him...ugh I don't answer. Then my cell rings...ugh...The guy can't leave me alone! So I waited a while and then returned his call. I though if I didn't he would be suspicious.

So you answer and say "Hey, I'd love to visit but so-and-so just invited me to go out and get something to eat. I'll talk to you tomorrow" and stop taking his calls for the night.

so what is stopping him from walking in the door?

Pride? Embarassment? Stubbornness? A conviction that you haven't really changed? An OW on the side?

Doesn't matter. I realize that he's not making it easy on you, but you need to stick to your guns and leave it alone for the week.