Depressive WAW or Depressive MLC?- both with an EA

[Gnosis]

Gyn I don't post here very often and I've read your thread. I've held off offering you any advice because you have been getting stellar advice... unfortunately you either seem to forget it or ignore it.

My comments on this latest escapade: In my humble opinion, you're getting played. You're letting her have her cake and eat it. Every time you start withdrawing and enforcing a boundary she tugs on your strings and has you jumping about like a little puppy. Can you see that? Please tell me you can.

e.g. You told her no more hugging... she tells you what you want to hear and keep you waiting, without committing to breaking it off with OM.

This is the way I see your situation based on the information you have provided:

You're being set up for a big fall in two or three years time. She is looking into a future without you. She has taken up her studies to prepare herself for a life without you. Her intention is to continue stringing you along and having you take care of her financial needs while she gets her emotional and other needs taken care of by the OM. Assuming she knows it won't last with him, she is using both of you (and anyone else) to selfishly satisfy all her requirements until she gears herself up for a better life.

You haven't provided any information about the OM, besides the fact that he's married and has been booted out of his house. Is your wife perhaps the reason he has been "evicted" from the marital home? It sure sounds like it.

I hope that you re-read the advice people have given you. Take their advice, formulate a game plan and stick to it. Remember, every time you have backed off your wife runs toward you. THIS WORKS. Keep up the activities that WORK. Pursuing her doesn't, rejecting her does. Weird isn't it? ... or as @robx likes to call it: counter-intuitive.

I wish you the best G&T.