Knee jerk!! Exactly! I almost called him to tell him "I cant do this, I am sorry, I thought maybe I could but this is just too much to get over". But I didnt, hopefully I will fall asleep before I do anything... K
i did not freak out.....i am just amazed that you do not help yourself by staying away from "things" that remind you of her and him together. breathe....relax......think positive thoughts.....remember you can not change the past but you can affect the present and future.
Hear hear John! K.. how did I guess!? Mars is in Leo, dont know what else is going on, but people have been getting 'worked up' all day, frustrated, reacting, overreacting, impatient and downright confrontational.
Relax.. you know, its ok to feel things but you dont always have to act on every emotion! Sit on your hands. Eat a piece of fruit. Watch a comedy etc. I really think you are giving this woman too much power, but what this is, is grief maybe you are in the anger phase!? IMHO, you are not acting out of strength if you ring and tell him I cant do this, you would be acting out of fear.
What are you afraid of? Whats stopping you surrendering? (not saying you should, just asking) xxx
I agree - no knee jerk reactions. Reconcilliation won't happen overnight and at times it will surely be a very painful process, but the reward of a happy, healthy marriage, in my eyes, is worth the pain to get there.
He is chosing his job over his family.......again.
He thinks you should just be able to go back to what it was before...comfortable...not facing any of his actions.
You are afraid you are going to end up in the same situation again...working your tail off to restore your M while your H sits by idly and watches you tie yourself in knots while giving no effort.
Can anyone else say 'one sided R'?
Maria, sweetheart, step back, breathe, don't react yet, but be very watchful.
First step....NO MORE R TALK AT ALL! Period! I think it's driving him back into a hole. At this point he has to come to you and if he choses not to then you have an answer to your questions of his willingness to work.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
There is a very good book that I think you have read which might be worth visiting again. It is called "Divorce Remedy". I suspect if you read through it again that there will be some new enlightenment of what you should be doing and expecting.
Kerry has some good advice as I've pulled out my book to revisit how to detach. I'm no longer married or in a solid relationship, but I do want to go back and look at some of the keys to GAL and detaching as I've seemed to have forgotten myself.
