Nah, if I have any hope, I have to do what you guys say. My biggest problem is I talk to my H waaaaay too much. I just can't figure out how to stop because of the kids. I can't ignore his texts, because he knows I always have my phone on me. He would see right through that.
Do your best to not sleep with him on this camping trip.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I won't. I promise. I'll be seeing him tomorrow night, and I won't then either. I know he'll be expecting me to want to one of those 2 days. Not doing it will be a HUGE 180.
Nah, if I have any hope, I have to do what you guys say. My biggest problem is I talk to my H waaaaay too much. I just can't figure out how to stop because of the kids. I can't ignore his texts, because he knows I always have my phone on me. He would see right through that.
So there's a good 180. Make yourself less available -- not just to him, but to everybody.
"I feel like having my phone on me all of the time makes me too accessible to the world, and it doesn't leave me time to focus on the things that are important to me. So I will be turning off my phone/setting it on silent mode more, and only replying to urgent messages immediately when I check them."
Do you realize that if you were to check your phone messages or email every 5 minutes, you would check your messages over 1,300 times in a week?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
You're good, Trent. That is a great 180 for me. I probably go through 3-4K texts a month. My phone is like one of my children. It's actually kind of sad, because it takes time away from my actual children.
Do I tell him I'm turning the phone off, or just do it?
Also, I need to set some goals, but I'm not sure what they should be, other than the obvious I want H back home. Any insight?
Do I tell him I'm turning the phone off, or just do it?
Tell all of your contacts. Either via email, a mass text msg, or whatever.
That way, it doesn't become an issue of whether or not you are trying to ignore him specifically.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
That way, it doesn't become an issue of whether or not you are trying to ignore him specifically.
What difference does it make if it comes across as ignoring him. I would think that would be good in that he realizes she isn't making him priority #1 anymore. If it doesn't have to do with the kids, I see no reason to have to reply if she doesn't want to reguardless of what he will think of it. Jolt him a little. Don't stop the rest of your text life to make an excuse for not talking to him.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
You'd probably want to cut down on your texting. Especially since you mentioned that it takes away from your own kids. If you realize it's a problem then it is. Just stop.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
He had his kids finger painting, dressed them up as pirates and have them search for hidden treasure, and more.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
