Cake eating WAW in MLC and EA part 2

[CABBR]

CABBR,

Good for you for taking charge here. Yes, you should give her a "if you don't tell them, I will" deadline. "By this Sunday" would be reasonable.

Keep standing up for yourself, and -- more importantly -- FOR YOUR KIDS. Sadly, your wife does NOT have the family's best interests at heart right now, so that pretty much leaves you.

The good news is, as Coach would say, "You can handle it."

Puppy

Thanks PDT,

It was my birthday over the weekend. I got back from a trip to the far east on Friday afternoon. My two boys were an absolute joy. They made welcome home signs. They painted little ceramic bowls for me. W worked that day, but made a cake and a nice dinner. No gift, but I surely didn't expect one. I brought home some toys for s6 and s10 and even a small gift for W. So the boys see some of the trappings of a normal family life - meanwhile the tsunami is looming.

Just this morning, my W sent me an email saying she wanted to tell the kids in phases because she read something about kids associating holidays and birthdays if they are around the same time as the bomb drop. That may be true, but the whole thing is going to be wrapped up inside of three months and I thought it extremely disrespectful to them as human beings and to their already fragile concept of family (whatever that might be at this point) to delay this any further.

She wanted to begin the dialgue with them by saying there is a problem. As soon as you say there is a "problem," s10 will inquire as to what that means and seek reassurances as to what it does not mean. They both know there is a problem. They've already been emotionally damaged by living in a house with a lot of tension and witnessing a non-relationship between the two most important people in their lives.

I told her that you're not going to anesthetize them from the pain by dragging it out. They are already hurt, confused and fearful. I don't want to ruin s9's birthday (early Dec) or Christmas, but there is really no choice - they need to know before it's all over.

So I will continue the discussion, but it will not go past this weekend.

CABBR