Need This To Work.

[mscanlon]

@Coach: Should I bring it up and let him know it bothered me? After I "let it go" - my 180's are so confusing to me -

I was a constant talker that could not let things go, until I felt satisfied with the outcome - constant nagging, bringing it up again and again - until he was SO OVER hearing about he wanted to stab himself in the stomach with a knife... but then I would be more hurt that me being hurt did not bother him.

I was a hot head that said HORRIBLE things and belittled to try to make him feel the hurt I felt inside. "You are not a reliable father," "You are ruining our children," "Don't be surprised when your children end up resenting and hating you." "You have ended up just like your father."

When neither of the above worked... I would restrict him from the kids - "We won't be needing your help Tues and Thurs this week... and have a great weekend!"

So with my 180's - I have to stop the nagging and bringing things up when they are done. Let him have his time with the kids and never make him feel they will be used as a punishment. I have to watch what I say and how I react to things very carefully - because I am under a microscope with him. Just when I think I am not... he will bring up something I said weeks and weeks ago and use it as some huge argument for his point. I have to act as if his sh*t doesn't bother me and it is not going to make me lose it on him.

I am thinking that I do not bring it up again... but think for next time something happens about a better way to convey my feelings without blowing up - THEN let it go... or come to a solution.

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@britt54: Thank you!!!