It just seems like if I do anything, everyone says ADDICTION. I'm not quite sure how to get around that or get past that.
Because the things that get you excited or moving are all external. How about trying the one thing everyone agrees to here. Kevin decide for himself and take action based on his internal influences - beliefs, values, faith, convictions and character.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.