PainfulDusk I am taking care of my kids I have always tried to spend quality time with them. I am also try to take care of myself, I have lost about 20lbs.,started exercising and started back going to church[I also take the kids when I have them]. As far as pursuing behavier I havn't done that in over a month. Me and WAW.have very little communucation now and most of the time its thru text messages.She did send me a e-mail Oct 29th saying that she wanted us to file for bankrupcy. She said she had talked to bankrucy lawyer and it would be best for us to file seperatly and that I would need to file 1st and that she would not file for 3 months because salary from part time job would not show up then.That is the reason I am seeing lawyer today. WAW wants to keep the house and if there is any equity in the house I should be entitled to half, so I have to find out if I could get any equity from the house if its tied up in bankrupsy.WAW says she wants to get the D. done right after bankrupsy is settled WAW had already had divorce papers drawn up and gave them to me Oct 23rd. I did not react very well when she brought the divorce papers. I told her that we could still work this out but she said no we couldn't and said she had been trying to get me to change for the last 10 years. I ask her how she had tried to get me to change and she hept saying she had already told me and she was not going to tell me again and she started heading for her car. I told her to just answer the question and stood between her and the car. she still would not answer so I moved and let her in the car but then stood in front of the car and told her to answer the question. She was threatening to call the sheriff and I let her leave. After this she says she is scared of me and will not be alone with me. I regrett acting this way and would have never done anything to hurt her but I know it only hurt my situation.One reason I think I got so mad was I had also found out that day that she had posted herself on match.com. I asked her about this also and she said her and her friend done this as a joke and she was not using it. I loked the next day on match.com and could not find her on there so I think she took it off. Over the next 2 weeks WAW kept texting wanting to know if I was going to sign the divorce papers. I told her we needed to set down and discuss some things 1st, that is when she told me that she was scared of me and would not meet with me alone, said I should e-mail her my concerns or what I wanted changed. I also had my last 2 sessions with DB coach around this time and told her what had happened. So we came up with plan that I would write WAW a letter stating that I realized that the marraige was over for her and for the last several years the marraige hadn't been a good marraige for her.I also admitted to things I knew that I had done wrong in the marraige and appologozed for the way I acted when she brought me the divorce papers. The DB coach said this may relieve some of the tension between us. I think it would have worked because she texted me a few days later and said she had gotten letter and she apreciated it.But then a few minutes later she texted me wanting to know what I wanted changed in the divorce papers. I texted her back saying I wanted custody of the kids changed from legal joint custody with her primary custodial to true joint custody and that we needed to get the house appraised to find out if there was any equity and that I would be intitled to 1/2 the equity. I also told her that I would e-mail her later with other things I wanted changed because my phone did not have a keyboard and it was to hard to text. This realy seamed to set her off, I started getting text after text from her saying how unfair I was and how there was no equity in the house and that joint custody was joint custody. There were also some remarks putting me down. But every thing that I have done so far that has not followed her plan has really set her off. Another thing that made her really mad was that I had talked to D7's teacher about getting her tested because she is struggling in some areas of her eduacation. WAW had told me at the beginning of school year about D7's teacher had said it would be a good idea to get her tested. So I called teacher and dicussed it with her a couple of times. The teacher had told me we could go thru the public school system[D7 & S17 go to small private school] to have her tested and she could get it started. I talked to several people that had done the same thing and said everything worked out fine. However when I texted my wife and told her this she said I was just trying to udermine her and that she had already made arangement to have D7 tested at private facility.She also stated that the public school system sucked and that she saw a lot of the public school counselers as patients and that most of them were crazy. I asked her why wasn't I involved in this decision she said that I had never wanted to make these kind of decision before so it was just habit on her part not to involve me. Well that is all I can post right now, got to go see lawyer, but thanks for listening. any advice is welcome from anybody.PainfulDusk I haven't read your post yet but I will get around to it. Thanks for responding
