Slept with XH, help!!

[Augtan]

Okay, one thing that keeps playing over in my head is when he said "I am indifferent to you, I don't care what you are doing, where you are going or anything about your personal life"

I know I should not take anything he says to heart, but as all of you know, this is not easy to do.

I am getting the feeling more and more that either things are over with OW or they are very cooled down. I then get the feeling I need to pounce...but I know I can't and shouldn't do that. I just know his needs and what makes him feel good and I want to be the one to give him all that before someone else comes along and fills those needs for him again. Is there little things I can say or do to get the message to him or should I just completely leave him alone? What I mean is...one of his needs is admiration especially when it comes to providing for us (we learned our needs from the book His Needs/Her Needs when we were in C). So, what if I just tell him how much it means to me that he continues to pay his child-support and alimony on time and that I appreciate him (another one of his needs...appreciation)? I could do this when we are talking about the kids or something. I just wonder if I can get little things in to build him up and make him see I am here and know what he needs. One of his complaints is that I don't know him well-enough and don't pay attention to the little things, so if I start to do that more, maybe it will make a difference. But, I want to make it subtle and rare at the same time. I don't want to screw this up, I want to give him his time to process everything like he asked, but I want him to know I know what he needs so he will want to get those things from me.

A