K4D Rising #4

[The Wifey]

Ok Kev, you asked me to respond and I have to say you won't expect my response.

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am yelling. Stop being ashamed, right now. You weren't a hypocrite, you were HUMAN. We get so d*mn into DB'ing that we forget sometimes that we ARE human beings.

I'm going to tell you something. I had a friend that I met on match.com. I asked him to have coffee with me. His w had left him and he was looking for friendship only, as was I. We went fishing, out to dinner, pizza, etc. I made it clear that he was a friend.

Now don't pass out........ I DID open mouth kiss him. It felt good. It let me know the parts that have been ummmmm, neglected, still worked. Nothing more than kissing ever happened, and we stopped hanging out in May. It was just enough interaction for us to both know that we COULD care about someone else. Neither of us felt a need to go any farther. AND it helped me solidify in my mind that I really did want to keep DB'ing and work on me.

You were "taken in" because you have been totally beaten up by all of the stuff your W said, did, your own actions, your feelings, YOU BEING HUMAN. You felt like a normal human being without the flaws that you are working on and having shoved in your face.

Be straight with this woman, tell her how you felt last night, and your reaction this morning. You have grown enough to be able to confront these difficult feelings and deal with them directly.

This is part of your growing, Kevin. You did nothing wrong. But it sure did feel good - didn't it. You can understand that you have something to offer. I don't care what anyone else thinks, you don't have anything to be guilty of right now.