If you continue to take EVERY comment he makes that alludes to a divorce so personally you will drive yourself insane. He can say and do what he likes and you can't control that but you CAN control how you react to it.
If you can afford it find another way to get the backyard set for winter and the garage door fixed. Show him by your ACTIONS that you can take care of things on your own just fine and you don't *need* him.
As long as continue to allow your world to revolve around him you will make zero progress and you will fail. Right now you are jumping at any crumb he throws you.
If he chooses not to live at home that is fine and dandy but make it very clear to him YOUR home will not be an over night pit stop when it is convenient to him. If he wants to have a R talk he will let you know. Your H dictating to you when he may or may not spend the night is not any indicator of a R talk, it's simply him exercising the control he has over you and he knows it.
You do have some power and control here but only you can choose to use it. He has already left you, the worst has happened. Setting boundaries can't make things worse, he can't leave you again and it *will* help you.
Right now you need to focus on the day by day or hour by hour and NOT the big picture. You do not yet have the tools to focus on the big picture.
