Might as well as stop coming on here since no responses or advice. Thanks to everyone that was here for me and did try to help me out.
"Goodfight,"
I was happy back when you changed your username, b/c I thought that this new one had a lot of, well, "fight" in it. But I've noticed a trend with you, and that is that you frequently just do the "woe-is-me", pack-up-my-marbles-and-go-home routine here on the forum.
DBing takes MONTHS, and sometimes even a couple of YEARS. If that's all the "fight" you have, then yeah, I'm afraid we can't help you much here.
Puppy
P.S. You will get more response from others, if you also go to others' threads and post there and try to help and encourage. I notice you don't do that much, but then you're the first to complain when no one comments on YOUR thread. Even Kevin, by my estimate, posts 10-20x more on yours than you do on his.
Just an observation, but I do think that these are some of the behaviors that are at the heart of your problem.
Puppy, I didn't want to give advice to anyone due to the fact I was new and have NO clue to what I am doing. Don't want to give wrong advice, that's all. And I was looking for advice from people that have been here a while and things were going well for them.
It wasn't the "woe-is-me". I just don't know where to go from here. That's all. Didn't want to be a bother and I can honestly say that. I'm not that type and never was, to bother people. Thanks for your input puppy.
You're never a bother to the people on here. What have you been doing to get yourself stronger? Sooner or later you're going to have to start standing on your own two feet.
Just because people don't post right away doesn't mean that they dont' care. Have you seen the amount of people with problems on here?
Stay with it and at the very least journal here so you and we can see your progression. If you post what's been going on at least people can put in there input.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thanks Stuck. I wasn't doing the woe-is me thing. Just thought people got tired of me so I was just going to leave. Kevin has taught me on the standing part and I appreciate that so much. I really can't thank you enough Stuck, I will stay then and do that (journal here).
Thanks again for your support. It was a year of separation on Friday and H did try to call but I couldn't answer. No message. Wondering what he wanted.......would really like to know but he hasn't called back since so I'm just letting that one ride. Not going to call and ask.
I am sorry I haven't posted here more. I guess I have been caught up in my own situation. Keep posting here. I do read what you say. I realize I fell last night on my own stand. But now I realize I have to get back on it.
I didn't expect the 2x4s I was going to get. But I guess I should have.
I think you are doing excellent on standing for your M. You cave now and then on how to interact with your H, but who doesn't. Keep picking yourself back up each day. You can do this. I can to.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I'm just so tired of him and his family hurting my son that he claimed was his also for 13yrs. and now it's like they all threw him to the curb. Our D was a mess over it also. She even knows and feels bad for my son. _________________________
See this for the small-mindedness this is. It's petty, small and passive-aggressive. Pray for your MIL, she must be a miserable person on the inside.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I do pray for her, I actually pray for both of my MIL's. My H parents are divorced and the step-mother is the one that added a whole lot of problems to our situation. And now that H is talking to his mother after 12yrs. of not speaking she is doing what she use to do. Buy for our D but not my S. That is why my H got mad at her and told her to knock it off. But now I guess it's ok with him since we are separated. Did tell him if they can't buy or give for both than don't buy for either. Wonder what Christmas is going to bring.
Thanks Kevin, yes, you did fall but you can get back up again. I was just trying to say that you taught me how to stand and when you fell it scared me. If it wasn't for you I would have never found rejoice ministries and stood for my M as much as I am now.
I get the daily emails from Charlyne and that is what keeps me going with God and standing.
H called me last night. I didn't or couldn't answer the phone on Friday night when he tried to call so don't know exactly what he wanted on Friday. But anyway he called last night and was very nice.
He said he was calling about the health insurance and wanted to warn me that the prescription co-pays might go up, and he didn't want me calling and yelling. I said why would I yell? He said you know what I mean. I just blew it off and didn't say anything.
H said that he was considering a different plan even though it might be more money for a family plan because it was better. And also asked what prescriptions I was on so he could look it up in the book that he received to see how much it was going to be for me.
I told him which ones I was on and he said he will look them up and get back to me because I told him that one that use to be $25 is now $50 so I think the co-pays already went up.
A few months ago, he wouldn't have called at all other wise call and let me know about the health insurance. Is this a step forward? We were very civil and I was very pleasant which I think surprised him.
He then asked if D13 was home from swim practice and I told him she didn't have school or practice due to a water main break, he said oh. Well have her call me. And then he went dead (he was driving and the phone cut out).
H sent a text saying sorry about phone going dead but have D13 call him and I told him no problem but I was on the phone and it would be a couple of minutes and he say K. I didn't want him to think I wasn't on the phone (which I was anyway), and was not going to have her call him right away because I don't have a life.
So about 20 minutes later I got off the phone and let D13 call from my phone since hers was dead. That is why H had to wait. D13 has her own phone but it was completely dead. So H just usually calls her phone.
Thanks Kevin, yes, you did fall but you can get back up again. I was just trying to say that you taught me how to stand and when you fell it scared me. If it wasn't for you I would have never found rejoice ministries and stood for my M as much as I am now.
It has very much conflicted me lately. I am working through it.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
