One last thing, rejoice ministries is a great site as long as people realize that they first have to change their life and relationship with God. To many people don't get this. Charlyne even says it from time to time.
Bottom line, detach, love God, strive to please God because you love God. Let him work the rest of your life out. You trust in him. Pray for your H to turn to God, not so that he will come back to you, so that he will save his own soul. It is a truly great sacrifice, but that is completely an unselfish thing to do. Do you trust God?
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Got it Kevin, and I'm not just changing to get my H back. I'm changing now because I want to be closer to God and do his will. So thank you so much for the advice. I know I need to change for me first and that is what I'm doing. I want to be closer to God and to be a better person than I ever was before, and isn't that showing my H that I love him or no? God wants us to let everyone we love to show them that and to let them know doesn't he? Even love thy enemies?
"I'm changing now because I want to be closer to God and do his will."
This is all that matters.
"I know I need to change for me first and that is what I'm doing. I want to be closer to God and to be a better person than I ever was before, and isn't that showing my H that I love him or no?"
You're contradicting yourself here. You do it for God. Period. It doesn't matter what you're showing your H. Leave him out of it.
God gave us the tools to handle any adversity that comes our way. He also doesn't condone being walked on by our S. Do what you want for yourself and don't think of your H.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I echo what Stuck said. You appear to still be doing it for your H and not God. You have to do it for you and God or it is not real. By saying isn't that showing your H you still love him by serving God says that you are doing it for your H's approval.
You have to rid yourself of this mentality. You can do this.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Don't worry, I am not coming down on you. It is not an easy thing to let go and do just for you. I completely understand. Just trying to help encourage you.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Goodfight, It's a lot easier to talk like this than do it. Keep it up!
After W's surprise visit today, I realized how much I'm still doing for her, not for God. It feels like she's still in control of so much of my life, my happiness, my future. I'm trying to remember that she's not.
For the holidays, let's come up with a way to quickly mention it and leave it up to your H to respond. For me, this was mentioning that I'll be in Houston for Thanksgiving, and not saying anything more. W has a month now to bring it back up if she wants to. No pressure.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
I don't know how to word it though Jon? Plus we got into it because his mother gave our D13 a card and nothing for my son that he raised. H lied about it and everything. Then I remembered to zip my lips which was very hard. So I don't think he will come so maybe I shouldn't mention it at all now.
I'm just so tired of him and his family hurting my son that he claimed was his also for 13yrs. and now it's like they all threw him to the curb. Our D was a mess over it also. She even knows and feels bad for my son.
I handled it all wrong I guess. But I couldn't have done that in a million years to a kid. See both of the children have the same birthday. So there is NO way they could ever forget one.
